One of the bitter feelings in life that we can’t ignore,
As a perfectionist, an intellectual, and an individualist, I always want to say and do the most powerful thing I can. I always want to be and appear to be the best I can be. The principle of imperfection is clear in my mind, but when it comes down to it, I can’t seem to accept it about myself. And I’m not alone.
Now, failure doesn’t just come during random events. The basic definition of failure seems to revolve around a ‘lack of success’ or ‘the embodiment of a lack of success’. It all goes down to expectations.
If I know I’ll be terrible at something and set my standards low, or don’t care to succeed at something, I cannot fail, because I am not worried about success and thus will not feel a lack of success afterwards. So a sense of failure only comes when you want something badly, and try hard to succeed, and do not/cannot meet your own standards. Just when you go for it, and shoot for the stars, you get a mental slap in the face. That stings. As if someone knew that you would be best brought down just when your hopes were at their highest.
Today I felt failure. I believe myself to be a great public speaker, because of past successes that today I was unable to re-create, but on my chance to shine today, I felt as if I botched the opportunity. And although others may not have felt what I felt, and may have thought my speech ‘good’ or ‘bad’, it is only my own opinions and feelings that matter in the end. I didn’t meet my own demands.
The thing I think we all do is we see ourselves succeed and we want more success. And then more. And then more. Until eventually, as a human being, you cannot achieve what you want. Then it all comes crashing down.
But what we, or at least I, don’t understand, is that people are not made from their failures. Nor are they their successes. Those two things can and do shape a person, but what truly makes a person is the soul that they have deep within them. It’s ridiculous to think that one can avoid botching a chance or not succeeding to the fullest of their capability all the time. Yet we expect these things as if we’re supercomputers, capable of repeated performance. But that’s not what it’s like to be human – every time will be different. Not only is being a human going to make it impossible to consistently fulfill demands, but I believe that we live life to learn about humility and humbleness. After all, aren’t we but a speck in a gigantic universe that we cannot even fully comprehend?
It’s because the ego and the pride that one holds latches onto material successes to generate a sense of false confidence. But true confidence comes from a place that does not rely on others’ judgments. Think about any and every great leader in history. Though they are portrayed as ‘larger than life’, they too, as everyone does, have/had their difficulties and mistakes on their journeys. But they have also found an inner confidence that conceals many of these mistakes to the public’s eyes, and turns them from a failure to a way of learning something new for the future. In essence, half of a success.
We all fall down and make mistakes. Might as well accept that. Use that knowledge as a tool to propel ever forward.
- Failure is not a reflection of self ♎ (ciobanucos.wordpress.com)
- Embrace humility‚ not arrogance (thehimalayantimes.com)
- Learning from Failure – How to transition from being less of a Perfectionist to more of an Optimalist. (courageousandremarkableself.com)