As I wrote yesterday, I had this piece in progress to explain why I was unable to even write properly for several days. It’s quite interesting, because I understood everything that happened to me before-hand in principle, but I had to really feel what happened to make the impact permanent within me.
My recent experiences, and by that I mean the last two years of my life, I’ve learned quite a few things, many of which have shaped who I am and have spurred the inception of this blog. A lot of what I write about reflects these things – life threw at me a situation that opened my eyes in new ways. Most of you readers should know what I’m talking about – the universe will place circumstances in front of you that will change you, or rather, as I like to think of it, allow you to discover more of your true self.
One thing that I learned has been reinforced within me these last few days (not yesterday but the days I was gone on that mini-trip of mine). This lesson has recently become a sort of mantra of mine, something that I always keep in the back of my mind. I thought I knew what it was, but I rediscovered it in my experiences. It’s one of the biggest parts of life for me now, and something that many of us do not ever even think about.
I wrote recently about how I thought the “old” thinking has to be revamped, how things are changing, and how that kind of mindset seems incomplete. For example, emotion has long been misunderstood, and thus people have treated emotion without understanding what it really is.
The thing that I see far too much of in this changing world is disconnect. We speak in different languages to each other, and mutual effort isn’t seen enough. I’m not just talking about countries and governments, but the real heart of the matter – the people. And it’s not just the words we speak, but what’s behind the words, and how they’re said. Why is this happening, and what caused things to be this way.
Here’s the thing – it’s something you can sometimes see, but always feel. It’s a feeling that resides within your gut, and you have to be in touch with your needs and not rushing through life. It takes time and practice.
I have begun to feel when things are off and more importantly, how I feel about my interactions with a person. For those of you that have no understanding of what I’m saying, I can only write to you how I see it, but to truly understand, one has to experience these intuitive reminders. Sometimes, contrary to common “old thinking” beliefs, there just isn’t a natural connection and forcing a friendship or a relationship is futile – some people were just never made to get along. In fact, it can be really harmful.
That’s why I was shocked when I was speaking with someone that told me, “Because of the foundation that I grew up in, I learned to love everyone”. That was and still is a complete lie, and serious denial, because let’s face it: we don’t love everyone in our lives, so we might as well just admit it now. Only people like the Buddha, who I am convinced are in a different place in their spiritual journey, have the capacity to truly have compassion for everyone and everything.
I have even read some stuff in Quantum Mechanics, a major topic worth it’s own postings that I’ll get to eventually, regarding personal connections getting down to the molecular level, and possibly even beyond. It shows you how far meaningful connections can and do go.
The reason why I was so unbalanced after returning was because I spent time with a bunch of people i thought were my friends, but instead were people that live on the surface of life and never delve deeper. I was away from my spiritual family, a term I like to use to describe the people I feel spiritually connected with. These people feed my soul with their love and understanding, and being away from them and with all this negative, materialistic energy had it’s effect not only on my mind, but my emotions and even my body (I’m a sensitive person, so upon returning, I felt very unmotivated for at least a day).
Why do I say these things? Because it’s time we start living our lives honestly in both our words and our actions – if you don’t want to spend time with a person or a group of people, the only thing stopping you is social pressure. But like I said in both this and this article, there is a really powerful sense of freedom because the invisible binds that held you down are now gone. Suppressing one’s self can only cause damage emotionally. So despite all the pools/treats and “fun” luring me in, ultimately it wasn’t worth it – the feeling of trust and respect, of friendship, wasn’t there.
Are you spending time with the right people for you?