The Blame Game

Morning, I’ve got a good one for all of you today.

It’s quite easy to go around living your life blaming. It doesn’t matter what or who you blame, but as long as you are always performing the act of blaming, you never have to shoulder on responsibility. Many people do just that all their life – to avoid the harshness of the real world. Like I said, it isn’t difficult to live that way at all. Taking on responsibility requires facing reality, which is something many people do not have the courage to do. It certainly isn’t always the most inviting option, particularly in times of weakness.

Clouds of Honesty

Live honestly. Take ownership. (Photo credit: Mick E. Talbot)

So many live seeing the world as the cause of all of their faults. People choose to view things that way, for if they look at themselves as the reason, then they are truly at fault for not living the life they wish. And although that may be the reality, it is a cruel and bitter reality indeed.

The people, places or things around one can quite easily be blamed as the reason(s) why one’s life is unsatisfactory. In fact, some have gotten so good at doing this, at skirting the responsibilities of life, that they have made this sad way of living into a game.

The Blame Game.

It’s a game we all know, occasionally play, and hate to see others play. It’s a selfish game, played with one’s intentions well and truly above all others’. It’s a game ruled by weakness.

Pointing Finger Is Pointing

Pointing the finger is to focus solely on others. (Photo credit: Adam Crowe)

Why do so many choose to participate in this style of living? It’s an awful way to live, firstly, but what’s worse, it’s a game no one can ever win. It is a never-ending process of pointing the finger at anything but one’s self. You can never win, because responsibility is a part of life, and without it, one does not allow themselves the chance to freely live.

Why take on the painful truths when it is so much easier to find something/someone else to put at fault? Because integrity is left behind in the quest to constantly use others to avoid pain for one’s self. Honest living becomes an impossibility when one seeks to blame others for their faults. You are not being truthful with others, nor are you being truthful with yourself.

The biggest misconception, though, if even unsaid, is that the lack of responsibility will contribute to staying happy, as reality can be a very harsh place at times. But the truth is that doing this only moves one farther away from a place of happiness by suppressing crucial components of life. By relinquishing honesty and living selfishly. The blame game is a perfect way of staying in a little bubble, and makes it impossible to stay connected with the universe, or to live with value and awareness.

It is worth it to participate in the ruthless cycle of blame?

–mrprose

Advertisements

Accepting Weakness

Hello again,

Acceptance has been a major theme in my blog. Not coincidentally, I am facing challenges with acceptance in my life. I feel as though there is still so much about it that we have to learn about. I see the gaps in my acceptance for others that I’m jealous or angry at, at myself when I think I’ve made a mistake. At the world when things get rough. We all face similar issues all the time, and it’s honest to say that we all have quite a bit to learn.

Something I haven’t yet explicitly spoken about is accepting weakness. It’s something that naturally is frowned upon or avoided, but is as important as accepting anything else, sometimes even more so. And weakness doesn’t have to be looked at with negativity.

ego

I think it’s safe to say that your ego doesn’t like your weakness (Photo credit: celine nadeau)

Not many of us like admitting or even acknowledging our weaknesses. They’re nothing to be proud about (ego), make us appear/feel like we are less than we imagine ourselves to be, or wish we are (ego), and possibly worst of all, they are a huge challenge in the road to ‘success’. But they exist, as a part of each and every one of us.

Weakness is a very subjective term and is interpreted completely differently by each person. A weakness is much of what I just described – a part of yourself that you feel is underdeveloped (your ability to play tennis, your ability to do well in math), or lower than standards. Those standards could be society’s (certain traits that are encouraged, etc.), your family’s/friends’ (your grades, your income), or your very own, imposed by only yourself (your skill in impressing others, being able to meditate, etc.). So with individual variety like that, a weakness for one could be considered to be a strength for another – the perspectives we all have vary quite a bit.

It’s hard to look at yourself and say, “Okay, I’m not perfect, I can be wrong, I do make mistakes, many mistakes, and I have weaknesses.” It’s not that we lie to ourselves per say, but rather just avoid the truth of it, never shine it under a bright light. I know for myself that I struggle to admit to myself when I’m not ‘good’ at something, and try to move on/change that part of myself.

When that is done, which it is, and quite often, you can never look at what a weakness really is and truly understand it. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing at all. In fact, I try to view ‘weakness’ like I view mistakes – room to improve. Obviously, it’s easier said than done, especially for someone like myself that gets stuck on pride. But there is a positive way to view everything, and eventually I hope view weakness that way.

Admitting you’re not good at something, or even really bad at it, does not mean at all that you are giving up. This is a very common misconception. Rather, you’re building the habit of honestly communicating with yourself (sounds silly, but it’s actually really important).

I believe that you’re born with a few talents, yes, but for the most part, you have to earn/work for the skills that you end up living with. If you openly admit your weaknesses to yourself, you are more capable of looking at them and understanding them for what they are – one of the best ways to grow. In fact, it’s healthier to live that way. Nothing to hide from yourself or anyone.

Think on that,

–mrprose

Admitting Your Mistakes

Hello again!

So before I begin, it’s a little update from the Deep Thinkings HQ. Inspired by my last piece, I’ve decided to take a new approach to blogging. Although I will still try to write everyday, no longer will I be motivated by the success of what I write will bring me, and instead, will use only my inspiration and love of writing and discovery. This means I may write slightly less often, but I hope my writing is as inspiration as always.

Anyway, enough of that. Onto my inspiration, my deep thinking that struck me today:

It’s to admit that sometimes you’re wrong. I suppose that’s a pretty straightforward claim, but what I’m going at is a little deeper than the typical interpretation.

Firstly, it’s obvious that no human being on the planet is always right, all the time. To think that that even might be the case is absolutely ridiculous and untrue. I think we can all agree on that point.

But truly admitting one’s own mistakes is a completely different matter, and something we all have much space to improve on. It hit me today that even when we’re “acknowledging” our errors, we’re not really. We automatically dodge or avoid the truth. I do, you do, often times without meaning to.

Just as an example scenario, say I take orders from my boss and proceed to completely screw up what I’m supposed to do. I most likely will find someone or something to blame. At the very least, I’ll think it’s someone else’s fault, while “admitting” it was mine. It wasn’t me! All of a sudden, I’m avoiding the truth that it was, in fact, my fault, my mistake.

These things we do consciously or not, a lot, if not most of the time. It’s different for every person, but as a whole, it’s difficult to take the blame when you’re trained to find out why it’s someone’s fault.

It’s because it’s hard to admit the truth to yourself all the time, particularly about something you’re not proud of or embarrassed about. I absolutely never like to think of myself making mistakes, personally. It’s a fact of life. Pride is an ego-driven feeling, and so “damaging” pride shouldn’t be something to avoid, as pride is something we don’t need (it’s mixed up with self-confidence quite a bit).

It’s starts with having patience and acceptance with yourself and others. I’m not only talking about admitting your mistakes to others, but far more importantly is admitting your own mistakes with yourself. If you don’t think it, don’t believe it, then it doesn’t matter. If you can gain the consciousness to stop this cycle, this direct/indirect avoidance of one’s own mistakes, you will look at things differently.

Your whole world will change, you will change. You’ll become a more honest person, a more grounded person, more in-tune with yourself. Because suddenly there’s nothing to hide from anyone. Also, admitting one’s own mistakes will take away the pressure of always performing successfully. We’re human, and mistakes are what make us who we are.

To be honest, I’ve never quite realized this before today, or at least as much as I have before. But I see now that it’s all about rising up, noticing what you’re doing, and changing it. More on this next time.

–mrprose

The Moral Issue, Part 2

Hello,

Sorry to be late today, I’ve got no wifi, so I must type this through the phone app that I have. So in advance, I apologize for being short.

Before I return to where I left off, a little bit of news from the prose factory: This weekend I’m off to Canada, on a short, four-day trip. I plan to try my hand at photo blogging. Maybe this will start a habit of integrating photos into my normal blog.

What does this mean? It means there will be less reading material from me (but more pictures), but only for a short amount of time. If you need to read so badly, take a look at these Canadian blogs.

Also, in other news, I just received a really well written story from one of my readers, and will do a posting on that sometime next week.

To wrap up the good news, I’m planning to start posting earlier in the day, once I return from Canada. I understand that that will be of more convenience to you readers, and that is something important to me.

Right, so onto what I was talking about yesterday. If you didn’t read yesterday’s post yet, I recommend you do so now.

Anyway, I realize that I might’ve come off as really selfish, and I would like to clarify that. I was very happy not due to the fact that I hurt someone’s feelings, but because I did something that was very difficult, and felt really free and happy once I did what I needed to. That’s really all there was to it.

Another thing I’d like to add is that my advice from yesterday varies from case to case. Sometimes the best thing to do really is taking something you don’t like and just accepting it. I do that for people in relationships that are worth it to me. I would add that your decisions in this type of situations should be governed by the gut feeling that you have, your instinctual direction pointer, and not the analytical brain.

That’s what I say to do for a lot of things actually, and why I think meditation or just sitting with your eyes closed, calming the mind, can have such an impact. I’ll come back to this next week.

The last thing I want to touch upon before I finish with this post (my thumbs are sore from so much writing through my phone) is the guilt factor from speaking up. It really is a huge thing to speak up, and sometimes, like I said yesterday, there is a guilty feeling that comes because you feel like you hurt them. I have felt that, but I knew in my heart, after sitting with these feelings for quite a while, that what I’ve done is truly best for me, and I cannot live my life always worrying about making everyone else happy. It would be impossible. So I’ve decided to live my life honestly, without the unneeded burdens of always avoiding hurting another’s feelings, when in fact it’ll always eventually happen anyway. I see that sort of avoidance as very dishonest living.

Alright that’s all, comment if you have been in a similar situation, I’d love to hear. And tell your friends and family about me if you like my blog!

See ya tomorrow,

-mrprose

The Moral Issue

Afternoon to all of you, feeling good today!

Alright, what’s on the chopping block today? Actually, I have the perfect thing to talk about that will explain why I’m feeling so good.

Well first a little background: In our lives, there will always be those terrible relationships that pin you down and suffocate you. There are a ton of different cases of this actually. You’ve got your haters, the people that despise you for whatever reason. Could be jealousy, or it could be because of a more moral issue – difference in views on anything from religion to what’s ‘good’ and ‘bad’. Sure, we have these disagreements with anyone, but there are those people out there that take it badly (or maybe that’s you) and what results is enmity. Those relationships can be bothersome, scary, even energy-consuming.

Then there just ‘dysfunctional’ relationships, which I personally find a thousand times worse. Unlike an arch-rival, these people seem to make you feel very confused, because they don’t feel mutually. It’s those people that like you, or want to like you, but you do not feel the same way for them. This doesn’t just mean the opposite sex, I’m talking about everything from your home-boy to your grandma. And in every case, there seems to be a serious burden that cannot be surpassed. By that I mean that there seems to be a conflict of opinions within yourself; on the one hand you want to just avoid them and not make any trouble, and on the other hand, there’s a part of you that wants to speak up and just be able to move on.

It’s true for everyone. Just think about a co-worker, family member, or really any friendship-gone-sour. A lot of the time they don’t know that you don’t like them, and thus are utterly baffled and shocked (in a bad way) when, if ever, you tell them that you don’t like them.

But the great majority of us rather avoid confrontation all the time, and spend our time running. Many of us do not know what else to do, and ‘at least you’re considering their feelings’. Well what about considering your own? That’s what always seems to be missing.

Because when one keeps their mouth shut forever for the sake of another person, they are, metaphorically speaking, poisoning themselves.

That’s what happened to me, and what almost everyone in the world has to encounter during their life-span. You’re always told to do the ‘right’ thing, and stick it out for the other person. I’m sorry to tell you, but that’s a really bad plan – if the bad relationship is damaging enough, if could be making you a worse person, in the form of unhappiness or worse.

One must not forget to think about themselves. Some may perceive that to be selfishness, but I think it’s incredibly important in being a better person. Because once you get through the hard part, and peacefully tell them what’s really on your mind (no need to get mean about anything), then a certain free-ness you’ve never felt before engulfs you and it makes the world so much clearer. And so much lighter. The lightness of everything is what really gets to me.

That’s what happened to me yesterday. I kindly said what I thought, and although the other party didn’t understand, my chest was relieved of a 50 pound weight. I’ll talk more on this tomorrow.

That’s all, have an amazing evening,

-mrprose