Life Is An Impossibly Big Mountain

Hello Everyone,

I’m here posting today as a mark of the fact that I am not permanently gone. I have not given up on this blog!

I recently edited one of my old poems because I felt it could be greatly improved, and it was something I experimented with giving a new meaning. By that I mean that I wanted to take a new twist with the words I had already written out. Hope you enjoy!

Life is like an impossibly big mountain

Intimidating in stature, blocking my path

Path to what? I don’t really know

I thought I had it all figured out


I’ve tried to climb it

Like everyone does, like everyone can

But I fall every time, every time I try

I don’t even feel like I have a choice, like I get a say

So I try again,

Only to fall once more


Sometimes, it feels like I’m finally getting somewhere

Somewhere far way

Somewhere better than this place

Better than anything I’ve got right now

And then I’ll look down and freeze with fear

Seconds later I’m tumbling through the air


I know my struggle is futile

But it’s strange,

Because I can’t help but hope

That something will change


And so I climb this mountain

Starting from the floor

Only to climb again,

Only to fall once more



Nothing Happens By Coincidence: Fate

Hello again,

So today, as promised, I am writing my first of two reply posts to my Friday Question. This is exciting.

Before I even begin, I have to first express how I feel on this whole subject: it’s fascinating. We all have our own different and unique beliefs, and I love listening to every single one. I think our interpretation of life says so much about who we are and what we’ve gone through. What I’m writing today is solely my beliefs as I’m not trying to persuade any of you of anything. You’re entitled to your beliefs. Simple as that.

Okay, so onto the topic itself: fate.

As I’ve said before, in this piece, it’s completely natural to wonder about one’s own existence. You do have to be at least a little curious as to how we all got here and what we’re all doing here. What’s the point? Where are we going? The questions are endless.

The fact that we’re all here though, even if the reason why is unanswered, is what it is. We’re all living, doing, being. The question then becomes, are our lives constructed of fate or freewill? Do we actually have control over anything that we’re doing, or has everything already been written out in some master plan, already set in place as the universe had it be?


If you don’t know what you believe, use introspection. (Photo credit: e³°°°)

The answer to these questions has to truly be found within one’s self. One can tell you what to believe, but if it doesn’t resonate with your soul, if you can’t swallow it and accept it, don’t bother forcing it. You just don’t believe it.

What I’ve found through my exploration of who I am, is that yes, I believe in fate. I really do. But at the same time, I also believe in freewill, although I’ll go more into that tomorrow.

According to the dictionary:


Noun: The development of events outside a person’s control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power.
Verb: Be destined to happen, turn out, or act in a particular way: “it was fated to end badly”.

Looking at the definition, I have to agree with the fact that there are definitely events out of our control, namely the one’s that happened before we even got here, but the key factor for me, is that they from some sort of supernatural force. Maybe there’s a God watching over us. Controlling us like the pieces of a game. Whatever it is, yes I believe certain events will occur, no matter what I do… (e.g. the death of someone, etc.).

Instead, what I believe is that the universe exists for a reason I cannot yet comprehend, and we’re here to discover who we are. The universe is God, in a way, just not taking the form of a being, but rather…. nothing and everything. I am simply a part of this nothingness and everything-ness. And it’s a part of me.

I know that there is something at work, and there are things in my life that are completely unavoidable (meeting a certain person, having to face a certain situation.) Fate, to me, is ultimately not the only force, because I believe we exist with a say in our existence. But certain parts of our lives and the world we will never be able to change. Through our actions, though, we can hold some sort of control on the situation.

English: By kac's meditation

Take a seat and listen to what the universe is telling you. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If I slow down and listen closely enough, I can feel the gentle push of the universe guiding me…. I’m never truly alone. As Larry so wisely put it yesterday, this whole subject really isn’t such a heady thing to be analyzed so intensely. It’s about feeling. Do you feel fate and freewill within yourself, or are you just taking everyone else’s words for it?

So, yes, I believe in fate, I believe that there is a higher power, although not a being conventionally seen in Western society. Instead, I feel, as many have, that fate sometimes takes my hand, and guides me through this maze I’m living in. It exists, that much I know. The question, then, is how much control we have in our lives, how much say we really have, and what’s holding us back.

Rest assured, though, that nothing happens by coincidence.

I’ll be back with more on freewill, tomorrow.


P.S. Thanks for all the comments and participation, tune in for another question next Friday!

Friday Question: Fate or Freewill?

Hello again,

So it’s Friday, and I’ve been blogging now for 11 weeks, and written 71 articles/pieces/poems of some sort. That may not seem like a long time to some of you (I know that careers can and do go on for decades), but it’s a huge amount of time for me. Maybe it all has such an impact because the journey has been difficult and I’ve discovered so much. Despite the fact that I’ve missed a few days here and there, I think that keeping that fact in mind is a great way to positive and a little more confident.

The reason why I’m saying this, though, is because I think it’s time I introduce a new aspect to my blog. I’ve decided that every Friday (or at least the one’s that I get to), I’m going to pose a question for anyone to answer in any manner they like. It could be anything from me asking for your thoughts on some current event, to an inquiry on how you, the readers, view some aspect of life.

I’m encouraging anyone and everyone to comment and put in their opinions on whatever the subject may be. I love to hear all views to the questions I ask. In return, I’ll write a response piece, maybe two, where I talk about my own perspective/perspectives on what I asked about. Who knows, you might see me taking bits of your opinion to add to my articles.

Question Mark Graffiti

What do you think? (Photo credit: Bilal Kamoon)

So without further ado, my question of the day: Fate, or freewill? Which one exists? Or do they both? I think it’s a huge topic to consider in the scheme of our existence. You have to wonder why we’re here, if we’re just the pieces to some gigantic game, or if our purpose is to make something happen, from our struggles and mistakes. Particularly when you question how much your efforts are worth, if they really do mean something, or if fate is already set in place and nothing is really in your control.

I’ll be back with my thoughts soon. In the meantime… what do you think?


If It’s For Your Ego, It’s Not For Your Soul

Hello all,

This was, despite a relaxing weekend, very stressful for me. I’m sad and regretful that I let things turn out the way that they did, but it was my fault all along.

I realize how dependent I am on success. It’s what keeps me going, and when, for whatever reason, I am unable to continue being successful, everything comes crashing down.

‘Success’ is such a vague word and has a different meaning for every person. For me, it takes the form of many different things. From overcoming a fear, to writing a strong, 500-700 word post on this very blog. And yes, that means that if I do not complete that everyday, I do end up feeling deflated, sometimes even disappointed in myself. These things, in my mind, equal more views, more prestige, more success. Let’s be brutally honest here, sometimes that how I look at things, and I am just like you/everyone else in the world. Except those darned monks in the Himalayas.

This means that much of my feeling of success is driven by ego. In fact, almost all of it is. Because it’s about getting the attention, getting the gold star. Yes, I talk about the importance of humility, but although I am working on it, actually applying such things into one’s life is very challenging, and requires vast amounts of patience and courage.

International Money Pile in Cash and Coins

How will your ego serve you? (Photo credit:

The ego, though, hides the value in such things and turns your focus towards ‘success’. Make more money, be more attractive, win win win. It gets in the way, and if you feed it enough, controls your life. That kind of thinking can only lead to a shallow life in the material.

It’s all about the motive. If you’re doing things for your own personal growth as a person, for the pleasure of doing them, or from the good will of your heart, then it’s not ego driven, or at least less so. It all depends on what the “personal growth” is. Again, is it for something from others or just for yourself. It’s when you do things solely to get the approval of others, or to fuel the fire that is your ego, that’s when it’s time to look again at priorities.

With that in mind, I think there are two things that should hold our focus, as people. One, you will never be successful all the time, and it’s pointless to try so hard for the wrong reasons. Life was never, is not, and never will be about ‘winning’. There is no such thing.

And finally, to remember why you are doing things. Am I writing this blog for the love of writing, for my curiosity to discover, or for the number of views and followers I get? Is it to impress that girl/boy/friend/family member/neighbor/anyone else? Is it to make more money?

If it’s for your ego, then it’s not for your soul. It’s as simple as that.