Identity and Stillness

I’m back! I really must apologize for my unannounced absence. I am adamant about my belief that this blog should never be a job, so when I begin to grow thin with the time I have available to work on it, if I do not feel inspired, I refuse to force the words. But I’m back, and if you’re still around, please know that your support through this time means everything to me.

ice-crack

Breaking the ice is a mind game. (Photo credit: adstream)

Where do I begin after so long? As is with anything, after such a time of absence, a form of mental barrier is created. Breaking the ice of writing on this blog has become more than just an issue of inspiration or time, but of defeating a psychological obstacle. Imagine how you feel when trying to return to a barely–started project.

It’s not all bad, though. There are things I have discovered during my time away. For example, despite my efforts, I had come to identify with this blog. It became fuel for my ego – that I was successfully writing every day, and above all else, receiving significant traffic and praise. I don’t like that I was that way, but it was what it was.

finger print

Still stuck on my false ideas, I didn’t know who I was. How do you define such a thing as identity? (Photo credit: Cahaya Dalam Kegelapan)

As I struggled more and more each day to write, (Every single piece requires complete focus for up to several hours of time that I may not have) my ego was confronted with an issue – how was I going to keep my identity? I mention the ego, because it is the key factor in this entire equation – and it’s important to remember that one’s ego and identity aren’t really as healthy or important to one’s existence as one may think. It’s an amazing thing, how stepping back just a little changes your entire perspective – for the first time, I may have experienced what many adults seem to experience later on in life, when the vital question is finally asked – who the hell am I really? Without this blog to define me, was I becoming less meaningful/valuable as a person?

Unfortunately, I did what most people do: instead of dis-identifying with the things around me, I dove straight into them with the hopes that somehow I would feel better. By some great misconception, I had the idea that a damaged ego is a bad thing, and that it needed tending, it needed care. What’s worse, it wasn’t as though I was consciously thinking it, it was that society had ingrained that way of thinking as a truth within me. And if I think in that way, who doesn’t? We’re all so brain-washed by our own selves that we treat the ego like a broken arm. Yikes.

Stillness

Stillness. (Photo credit: david.ian.roberts)

Because of the way society is set up, particularly in the 21st century, the “real world” is literally run by the material. And with the right perspective, one would see that it is that material-based mindset that dictates far too much of our lives. And in many ways, it really is. Like I’ve written about before, there is always someone who’s more experienced, better, smarter, faster. This is a tough world we live in. But what we so easily forget is that these things that we use to fuel feelings of self-importance, these things that we use to judge others on intelligence or competence of any kind, don’t matter at all. We must remind ourselves that the truly important things in life, whatever they may be for you, are immeasurable – still, contentment, happiness, love – their importance is not diminished but forgotten in the huffing and puffing that has become life. I lost contact with one of those things, and in doing so, I learned something truly powerful:

Identity and inner-stillness cannot co-exist.

So that’s it from me today. I hope all of you enjoyed your Thanksgiving, although I’d like to add that true appreciation and thankfulness is a year-around thing.

–mrprose 🙂

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16 thoughts on “Identity and Stillness

  1. I appreciate your thoughts on writing. Since starting my blog, I’ve had similar thoughts and experienced similar emotions. I’ve even sometimes wondered why I post my thoughts publicly—there are so many good thoughts out there, I can scarcely keep up with the reading, not to mention my writing. But I feel creatively compelled to keep calm and carry on. I sometimes think I’ve gotten myself into another fine mess. 😉

  2. Glad you are back! You are right, in society today it is so hard to hang on to the things that matter because it is so easy to identify with the things that don’t matter. It’s even harder during these holiday seasons that are supposed to be about compassion and thankfulness, etc. as the actual focus is on consuming more and more, and putting on the best reception for our friends and family.

    • Interesting question… I do’t believe inner stillness can be identified with… in that state of being, one transcends ego – I think you realize that we’re not so separate, that we’re all connected, all fundamentally the same.

      Perhaps that is just my experience.

      • Taking the word “Identity” to mean “I am identical with” – then maybe I am identical with the Inner Stillness – and then is there still an “I”? That may be as far as we can go with words…. 😉

      • Perhaps. Only, my definition of “identity” is an ego based construct of who one believes they are – based off of material things. So I suppose it depends on how one views the word “identity.”

      • Yes, our language has been skewed to brainwash us into lack of self-confidence and all the rest. That is probably why so many have pointed us over the ages in one direction: “Know Thyself” and then see what questions are still there… 🙂

  3. I feel more like society has trained us to believe that egos are a bad thing and must be supressed. The definintion i have for an ego is something that can lend one confidence though and without it we dont really.have any. I believe an “ego” shoukd be kept.in balance. Correct me here if I’ve misunderstood what yiu were trying to say

  4. We are all unique individuals with something original to contribute to the world of society and art. As far as life itself, it’s the little things that make everything beautiful.

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