Life Is An Impossibly Big Mountain

Hello Everyone,

I’m here posting today as a mark of the fact that I am not permanently gone. I have not given up on this blog!

I recently edited one of my old poems because I felt it could be greatly improved, and it was something I experimented with giving a new meaning. By that I mean that I wanted to take a new twist with the words I had already written out. Hope you enjoy!

Life is like an impossibly big mountain

Intimidating in stature, blocking my path

Path to what? I don’t really know

I thought I had it all figured out


I’ve tried to climb it

Like everyone does, like everyone can

But I fall every time, every time I try

I don’t even feel like I have a choice, like I get a say

So I try again,

Only to fall once more


Sometimes, it feels like I’m finally getting somewhere

Somewhere far way

Somewhere better than this place

Better than anything I’ve got right now

And then I’ll look down and freeze with fear

Seconds later I’m tumbling through the air


I know my struggle is futile

But it’s strange,

Because I can’t help but hope

That something will change


And so I climb this mountain

Starting from the floor

Only to climb again,

Only to fall once more



Finding The Right Structure

Hello again,

Yesterday I asked the Friday Question, Structure or No? I’m really glad I got some truly in-depth answers, because it really is a subject that demands a bit of thinking. Something basically everyone said was that structure is necessary for humans, if even just a little. We need some way to stay grounded, and although we’re an incredibly adaptable species, there is a limit to how far we can go.

English: Structure of sunflower's leaf. Česky:...

There is structure in much of life. Even the leaves are built in a certain way. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have to say that I agree. I am a very artistic person, and I still need to set myself up with at least a skeleton of a schedule or a plan so that I am not completely lost. Nature set human beings up with natural structures of their own. An example would be the will to live or instincts like the drive to eat. As mishaburnett put it quite nicely in the comment section, “A baby crying to be fed is not unstructured–it is the infant responding to his or her internal structure.”

So we do need structure, and I believe to varying degrees – I think it all depends on on who we are and our past experiences/views on life. If I was kept on a three foot leash until age 16, I’m sure I would do anything for a bit of freedom. If I was more exposed to what it was like to be on my own, maybe I would be able to handle life with a more level head, with a more comfortable level of structure.

I should clarify what I said from yesterday. I do not believe all doctors and lawyers live orderly lives, nor do I believe all comedians and artists live disorganized lives. I recognize a career can be separated from personal life (sometimes), but as a whole, certain jobs do require more focus from the left-brain, more analytical thinking, more numbers and more studying, while others do not call for such things.


Ugh, it turns my stomach just thinking about working there. (Photo credit: yuan2003)

Here’s the thing, though: some say to balance work (being a lawyer for example) with art (being a comedian, say by night). My response to that is a bit more on the risky side. I do not believe that just doing a job and then focusing your art as a hobby always works for everyone. Perhaps it does for some, but certainly not all. Firstly, a great many people cannot handle certain atmospheres, no matter the pay. I know for sure that I will never be able to work in an office or at a desk unless they’re my writing office/desk. I simply do not have the capacity to do monotonous work. I know that I am just a kid, but I also know with all my being that I have passions that I want to explore, and so a cubicle is not an option for me.

That’s why I say that finding the perfect balance for yourself is to go for what you love, and then implement structure. Maybe you do need to work odd jobs for a while. Maybe you have to start off small, give yourself scheduled non-

English: In the Beginning

Art brings me closer to God (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

structure. But I believe that lack of structure in some form is vital for human growth. If we stuck to the same system forever. We wouldn’t even be cavemen. Innovation is only possible when you break the rules sometimes.

The biggest thing is to let that artist within you to grow. It will feed you as a person, and bring you closer to God, to your own pure soul. I know that passionate artists are exploring, they’re discovering. They’re learning things about themselves and others. About God and about the universe. I think we need to structure our lives in a way that we can explore these extraordinary gifts that we have.


When You Stop Trying, You Start Dying

We have all had moments, periods in our lives, of failure. Life itself is composed of failure. If you have never failed at anything, you’re either severely in denial, or not human.

Actions speak far louder than words. This is also a fact, and another large ingredient in the soup we call life. If you fail at something, that says nothing about who you are. How you react to failure tells the whole story.

Say one loses in a game of chess, and rather horribly at that. There are several reactions

English: A large chess game inside Enoch Pratt...

English: A large chess game inside Enoch Pratt Free Library in Baltimore, MD, USA (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

one can have to that loss (or any loss for that matter). One could take it and practice/train diligently until they are at a higher level of skill. That would be an example of learning from past mistakes (exposing the queen, playing recklessly, etc.). I see this response as an immense show character. Defeat can be agonizing, but it’s  also a great teacher and something we can all learn from. Never giving up.

Wrestling redux

I’m not sure I can take that on just yet… but I’m not discounting the possibility entirely! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On the other hand, one may take the loss, and decide they will never be worth anything when it comes to chess. This may seem like it’s an over-exageration, but now that I think of it, I’ve made that very claim on my ability in playing football, box, or wrestle. Those things are scary to me, and I don’t have natural skill in those sports (I’m a tiny guy). So I have closed those pathways for myself.

Chess is only one example. Now what if one says they will never be worth anything when it comes to any board game? To any game at all? Suddenly, they’re diminishing their possibilities in life. Any opportunity that comes with any game – meeting new people, learning about one’s self, really anything at all – is now impossible, as this hypothetical example of mine has deemed games of any kind as not worth their time.

In many ways, they’ve given up. They’ve taken failure, and let it beat them down permanently. And once you’ve fully given up, purpose in life is gone.

We all have things we’ve given up on. I could quite easily follow that path and keep giving up, on all sports, on anything physical. But I don’t, because I won’t close any more pathways for myself, because I still have a purpose, because I’m not yet ready to start dying.

Moving beyond my examples, this goes far deeper than just chess, just games. It’s about a fundamental attitude towards life. Are you willing to fight for your dreams, your ambitions? There is no easy way to achieve them, as they won’t simply fall from the sky and plop into your lap. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: life will knock you around, hard.

Learning the hard way

Can you get up and learn from the fall? (Photo credit: laverrue)

Like I said before, actions speak far louder than words – how will you react to getting knocked down?

As the famous japanese proverb put it: fall down seven times, stand up eight. Despite the pain, the struggle will be worth it. But without a struggle, without a conflict, you’re not putting the effort into life to feed the fire that is your ambition. With time, it’ll die down, fade away.

When you stop trying, you start dying. If you have a purpose, get up and start living.


Conflict is Better Than Stagnation.

There’s a subject I’d like to address today that has always been on my mind, and something that I firmly believe, but also something that I’ve never been able to articulate as well as I would like. At least, until I saw this quote:

“Conflict is better than stagnation.”

Frederick Douglass

This is a quote that really speaks to me in the way that it’s something I’ve very slowly come to have understood in my life. It’s one of those things you have to experience to truly discover. And although at first it may not seem to make any sense, if you go just a little deeper, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.


Stagnation won’t lead you into the wonders of the ocean. Instead, it’ll leave you waiting, always waiting… wondering what lies beneath the waves. (Photo credit: sunnyUK)

I’ve learned that there is nothing worse than stagnation in life. To cease one’s drive/effort for development is to (in my opinion) cease interest in life. You stop discovery, you lose your drive, your passion. Commonly misunderstood, stagnation is not at all stability. It’s the halting of growth and innovation. Maybe it’s because I’m a romantic (a.k.a. personality type 4), but a string of pointless, eventless days affected my mood dramatically.

That aside, conflict is the reaction to digging deeper in life, of exploration. You cannot simply “grow” without any challenges. We learn from our mistakes, but we don’t make mistakes if we don’t try new things (unless the mistake is not trying new things).

Conflict, eventually, has to lead to resolution. All conflict ends. Wars end. Fights cannot last forever. Struggles are transient. All pain is temporary. And what lies beyond may be discovery, depending on the form of resolution. A constant, though, is the growth.

In the end, one thing remains the same: if there is no struggle, no conflict, no battle that is fought, there can be no progress. Emotional, and physical (physical obstacles, facing limits, etc.) I’m talking about everything in our lives.

I always talk about growth and discovery. It’s why I believe we’re here. But it’s not easy an easy thing to go through. In fact I believe it’s the hardest thing you can do in life. Because anything that teaches you anything will be painful, as pain is our greatest teacher.

Not-coincidentally, the same amazing man that said the quote above, said this:

Frederick Douglass portrait

Frederick Douglass portrait (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without demand. It never did and it never will.”

–Frederick Douglass

I think he pretty much sums it up – if you want progress, you have to face obstacles first. You have to be strong. It’s a decision that only you make, if you’re ready to take it on.


Are You Living A Life Worth Living?

Hello again,

So a subject that I think about quite a bit in my life is how I’m living my life. I naturally evaluate and compare. That’s the kind of person that I am – I measure things. It’s not a good habit, life isn’t about measuring, but it’s something I, and many other undoubtedly do.

Why do we do that? I do it because I want to live a life that I won’t regret. I don’t want to waste my time. So I measure everything in the hope that it’ll all add up and make my time here on Earth seem worth it. I let my natural tendencies kick in, in response to my insecurities.

There are very few people out there in the world not afraid of death like the rest of us. The thing that strikes me about these people is how their passions and souls shine through everything else. They’re following their calling, they’re doing the things they want to do, creating the things they want to create. They don’t live their lives from heady places – there’s not measuring or counting or calculating if life is being well spent. They’re living their lives from their soul – they’re living life without regret, and doing what feeds them spiritually. They’re living presently in time, nowhere in the past or the future. In the moment.

These are the people letting go of fear and are ready for death when it comes for them.

Olympic Medals

All that really matters in the end: is it worth it to you? (Photo credit: Daniel Coomber)

We all have our different approaches to living, but I believe that those out there that aren’t afraid anymore, or losing their fear everyday, send a very inspirational message. You can’t measure life in any way. The number of medals you’ve won from various tournaments (even the Olympics) don’t count for anything if winning like that doesn’t fill you with content, or fuels your passion. What matters is that feeling at the end of the day of inner accomplishment and contentment at your growth as a person. If it’s for your ego, it’s not for your soul. And it’s the soul that makes it all count.

It’s a decision that each and every one of us has to make – am I going to do what want? Do I want to live a life that I will never, ever regret, and base my living on my passions and my callings? You’re the only one that lives your life, now make it worth living.