Growth Isn’t Linear

We all want to improve. Furthermore, we want improvements to come easily. Of course we do, why not? That would make life a lot more enjoyable, right?

The thing is, improvement is far from an easy thing to find for yourself. Growth often takes questioning your views, your opinion, how you’re living your life. It sometimes takes facing things you fear. Growth can require taking on challenges, overcoming obstacles. Conflict is better than stagnation, and I believe it completely.

But one will find growth in other ways, ways they haven’t yet explored, and this I came to realize when I began to push myself too far. I’m a firm believer in moving outside of one’s own comfort zone and that is reflected in my writing. I constantly encourage people to do stuff they’ve never done before. To go the extra mile. I do my best to do the same, to practice what I say.

Maybe if everything in life stopped being rushed, we would be able to read the words in the sky, instead of wondering what those odd squiggles say. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But I realized that in giving everything I had to improving on this and that and everything, I was losing myself and moving closer and closer to snapping, to burning out. Anyone that goes through a similar experience knows quite well the feeling of taking one step forward, and then falling two backwards.

I realize now that I was consumed with always moving forward and getting better, getting my way. It didn’t matter at what, what mattered was that I did. I put all my attention to being the best I could be, and in doing that, I began doing something else – forcing my will on life. When I say that, I mean that I was trying to make everything go my way. Needless to say, frustration is inevitable with that mindset.

No matter how much you may like to think of yourself as a train on a straight path to Heaven, or Enlightenment, you’re not. No path through life is straight. (Photo credit: Martin Deutsch)

Being who I am, I feel like I need to perform at all times. I often give myself no time to relax, no time to enjoy, and in doing so, am able to accomplish less, sometimes nothing. I never let myself slow down and stop doing.

Growth is not solely found in doing, doing, doing. Learning to go with the flow, to be a follower sometimes, to listen and take in and be – that’s growth too. This is why I say that growth isn’t linear, it doesn’t follow a line. There are many things we must learn, and they do not all stack up one on top of each other to be taken apart one by one. When you hit a rut, stop, reconsider, and maybe go a new direction. Sometimes we feel our progress, and life is good. Sometimes, we lose sight of where we are and everything feels dark.

Just remember that growth isn’t linear, just as your life is not just a straight line.

–mrprose

It’s About the Journey, not the Destination

Hello again,

I’ve really begun to notice a particular pattern in my writing on this blog. In my thinking itself. I always seem to write about destinations. Ending points in learning or acceptance or the like. A finale of some sort. I see myself envisioning that sometimes, and thus it has been translated in my writing.

Ooooh is that for me? (Photo credit: DVIDSHUB)

I find myself almost romanticizing the “end” of the journey/journeys that we go on. There are many, and some are difficult. On those paths, I hope to have some sort of great prize awaiting my arrival. The truth, though, is that life is not really so much about the destination, the ending place one arrives at, as it is about the pathway and experiences one takes away from the whole thing.

Look at your life. Doesn’t the vast majority of it seem to be ‘on the way to somewhere’? It’s always another climb, another great distance to cross. We look only at the horizon where we hope to eventually be, and never at the ground beneath our feet, a place that deserves more of your attentionthan anything. Because it doesn’t just end. The path you just took leads to a hundred more, as the process of discovery is not a short one.

That mountain up ahead? One might see it as the final destination of their journey, but in reality, it’s just another part of the journey itself. (Photo credit: blmiers2)

Those that look back on their lives and regret not doing more are the people that had their eyes glued on the horizon and nothing else.

Doesn’t it always seem as though the road you’re currently on is just a never-ending lane of endlessness? Sometimes that’s just exactly what it is. I’m not saying nothing ever changes nor am I saying that that single road will stretch on forever onto the very edges of our universe. I’m saying that you’re always on some sort of road, and that cycle of roads never ends. It explains the sometimes painful monotony we all come up against. I don’t see how growth can ever have a final point. I don’t believe true “perfection” can ever be achieved as long as we’re human. It’s something that frankly doesn’t exist for us. Thus, I do not think that those thoughts deserve their space in our collective minds.

I don’t know where exactly I’m going right now. Maybe I never will. But I’m not going to let my expectations limit the possibilities of what can be. (Photo credit: VinothChandar)

We like to have a point, an exact location where we can set our minds up for expectation. Results of some kind, whatever kind we imagine up and settle on. It’s a closed minded way of living. It’s that kind of mentality that can ruin the experience of the whole adventure.

To learn about what life is all about, it’s meaning to you, a shift in mindset has to be made. No longer can we march through life with all our focus on the reward perched at the ‘end’ of the road. We rush through far too often, attention on the things that don’t feed our souls. Living like that leads only to the unhappiness that is so apparent in our world today.

Instead, I believe our attention and energy should be concentrated on the journey of exploration and discovery, of mistakes and learning. That is where the true rewards, the truly important pieces of life lie.

It’s not about getting there, it’s not about how quickly one can arrive. It’s about what you take away from your experiences on the way there. Growth and learning has no limit. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

–mrprose

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If It’s For Your Ego, It’s Not For Your Soul

Hello all,

This was, despite a relaxing weekend, very stressful for me. I’m sad and regretful that I let things turn out the way that they did, but it was my fault all along.

I realize how dependent I am on success. It’s what keeps me going, and when, for whatever reason, I am unable to continue being successful, everything comes crashing down.

‘Success’ is such a vague word and has a different meaning for every person. For me, it takes the form of many different things. From overcoming a fear, to writing a strong, 500-700 word post on this very blog. And yes, that means that if I do not complete that everyday, I do end up feeling deflated, sometimes even disappointed in myself. These things, in my mind, equal more views, more prestige, more success. Let’s be brutally honest here, sometimes that how I look at things, and I am just like you/everyone else in the world. Except those darned monks in the Himalayas.

This means that much of my feeling of success is driven by ego. In fact, almost all of it is. Because it’s about getting the attention, getting the gold star. Yes, I talk about the importance of humility, but although I am working on it, actually applying such things into one’s life is very challenging, and requires vast amounts of patience and courage.

How will your ego serve you? (Photo credit: epSos.de)

The ego, though, hides the value in such things and turns your focus towards ‘success’. Make more money, be more attractive, win win win. It gets in the way, and if you feed it enough, controls your life. That kind of thinking can only lead to a shallow life in the material.

It’s all about the motive. If you’re doing things for your own personal growth as a person, for the pleasure of doing them, or from the good will of your heart, then it’s not ego driven, or at least less so. It all depends on what the “personal growth” is. Again, is it for something from others or just for yourself. It’s when you do things solely to get the approval of others, or to fuel the fire that is your ego, that’s when it’s time to look again at priorities.

With that in mind, I think there are two things that should hold our focus, as people. One, you will never be successful all the time, and it’s pointless to try so hard for the wrong reasons. Life was never, is not, and never will be about ‘winning’. There is no such thing.

And finally, to remember why you are doing things. Am I writing this blog for the love of writing, for my curiosity to discover, or for the number of views and followers I get? Is it to impress that girl/boy/friend/family member/neighbor/anyone else? Is it to make more money?

If it’s for your ego, then it’s not for your soul. It’s as simple as that.

–mrprose

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Limits

I am afraid,

Of myself,

What I can do,

Where I will go,

What lays ahead,

The things that I don’t yet see,

 

I am scared,

Of what I am becoming,

Where I am going,

Why I am doing, being, moving,

 

I am terrified,

Of what I will find,

When I delve within,

The depths of myself,

The crevices, the darkness,

The bottom of the sea that I hold in my being,

 

I’m afraid of my limits,

The point where I can go no more,

When my weakness steps out into the world,

Anyone can look,

Judge,

 

Do I want,

To know the extent of my abilities?

To know the full potential I have?

To discover my place,

Of greatest extent?

 

Is there such a place,

Burdening… me,

Or does this lie just sit,

In a worried corner of my mind?

 

There is no finish line,

Final words the the tale,

End,

 

There is just,

My fears,

The limits I place upon myself,

And me,

No beginning, no end,

Just me

 

–mrprose

 

 

 

 

 

All Pain Is Temporary

Hello,

I’m back again! Even though it’s only been two days since I’ve done a full-on posting, it feels like it’s been an eternity. It feels great to have the time to sit down and focus on writing again.

What do I have to say for today? It’s a pretty normal and calm day. Slow. Fairly painless. And this is all piques my interest and attention, because the lack of excitement truly capitalized a point for me that is very noteworthy about life as a whole.

Pain is temporary. It does not last, it cannot stay forever. It comes and it goes many times, over the course of our physical existence.

Hey, who said they are all bad? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Pain will find us all. I use the word “pain” to describe anything uncomfortable or preferably avoidable, along with the traditional definition of the word. From drinking the unpleasant vegetable juice, to severe depression, pain comes to us in different forms (note that for the former example, the pain I’m speaking of is the struggle to avoid the juice, as the drink itself will not inflict pain. This exemplifies the fact that many forms of pain are self-inflicted.).

It’s part of a cycle that creates our lives. The Pain-Pleasure cycle, as I like to call it. Neither end of the spectrum lasts forever, and neither pain, nor pleasure, can exist without the other. This is what keeps us on the material level, and moving beyond this cycle results in a

Pain didn’t stop the Buddha. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

transition to the next level of existing. “Rising above”, as many would put it. Buddha is a great example, in his journey for Enlightenment through extreme austerity and other means. He did not allow pain to stop him, and thus moved forward in his growth.

When I say these things, I do not mean that pleasure must be left behind. I mean that material pleasure should eventually be seen for what it is, and thus be left behind. I don’t believe that the word ‘pleasure’ should be used in reference to something felt through physical means, as true pleasure does not depend on physical things, it is found within.

At the same time, we live on Earth, a place of material things. We’re all human, and indulging in such things is a part of living on Earth. I, and everyone else, indulge in physical things, and that should be an accepted fact of life, as many of us (me) are not yet ready to give up such things. It is when one loses themselves amongst the material wonders our world has, that material “pleasure” goes to far. Although it may seem like a paradox, unhappiness will ensue.

When one dies, it is believed that all worldly pains are left behind. By my logic, so do all worldly pleasures. It is said, though, that there is a distinct feeling of bliss that is unlike anything found on Earth. This is pleasure from within, found only from yourself and God (whatever you definition of the word is), which I believe is a part of who you are. Read this for more on that.

This also leads me to dis-believe in the orthodox Hell. Yes, I believe there are hells – places of pain and suffering. Some of these we create for ourselves. But I do not believe that they last forever, by any means. We’re all equal, and we all make mistakes, but no fault should be punished by eternal suffering.

Where am I going with this, you ask? I suppose these words are meant to be comforting and hopefully guiding. Comfort, because no matter what pain you’re in, you will move past it eventually, as it cannot plague you forever. And guidance, as this is yet another reminder of mine to remember to find and focus on the important things in life worth discovering – it’s different for everyone. I believe we will all move beyond this cycle eventually and keep on exploring the things that grow us as people.

In the meantime, let pain be your teacher on where to go and what to do. Don’t always shy away from discomfort. And remember that all pain is temporary.

–mrprose

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